Hi Reader!

My daughter hates volleyball, and that makes me super sad.

Not because I need her to be my mini-me, or because I think she should love the same things I do.

It makes me sad because volleyball has been one of the biggest gifts of my adult life.

I started playing in the Iowa City Tuesday night women’s volleyball league in my early 20s, and more than 20 years later, I’m still playing. At this point it’s less “hobby” and more “long-term relationship.”

And the thing is, volleyball was never really about volleyball.

The origin story

I didn't have a bunch of girlfriends in college.

I had two close friends, and somehow accomplished a spectacular falling out with both of them, separately, right after graduation.

One was fully my fault for being a stubborn little jerk. The other involved $1,000 and a whole lot of self-righteousness.

At the time, I felt justified, but looking back, I should've fought harder for those friendships.

Because I had no idea how hard it would be to make friends after college.

Here's your diploma, congrats, good luck with that.

I stayed in Iowa City after graduation, deeply unsure of what I was doing with my life. I didn't even know what I wanted.

I tried grad school and dropped out after a semester. I got a temp job at a bank, then an office manager job at a real estate firm.

One day at work, I was crying at my desk because I didn’t have enough money to put gas in my car.

A Realtor in the office, Rita Arora, found me, patted my hand, and gave me a $100 bill. She told me to pay her back when I could.

That $100 got me to payday.

I never forgot that.

I also never forgot how alone I felt in those years.

I worked with very few people my age, but one young Realtor and I decided to start going to Chamber of Commerce mixers.

(Shoutout to Stacia for joining me in that social experiment.)

Those mixers were... something.

Imagine a room full of slightly buzzed 20- and 30-somethings, half looking for love and half looking for clients, jobs, or some vague form of upward mobility. Very pouncey vibes.

And yet, slowly, the mixers worked.

I started meeting people.

Some guys needed a girl for their slow-pitch softball team. I was terrible, but I could occupy a spot in the outfield with real commitment. Then one night at Gus’s (*a moment of silence for Gus's on Coral Court*), I met three guys who invited me to play volleyball with them on Fridays.

That invitation changed my life.

I know that sounds dramatic, but I mean it.

Volleyball opened the door to a whole circle of people who became the foundation of my adult friendships.

I still play with many of them now, in women’s league and co-ed leagues. Two of my four bridesmaids were women I met on the court.

I mean the people.

I mean belonging.

I mean Tuesday nights on the calendar.

I mean inside jokes and group texts and seeing the same familiar faces year after year.

I mean the way a thing as simple as showing up to play can quietly build a life.

And that’s why it makes me sad that my daughter hates volleyball.

Not because I need her to love the game.

It's not the pass-set-hit business, the fun of playing, or the grabbing beers and food afterward.

The sense that there is a place you can go where people know you and are glad you came.

Of course, her version of that might come through something totally different. Theater. A running club. A job. Some random thing I’d never choose for myself.

And that’s fine. That’s how it’s supposed to work.

But still.

A small part of me had hoped she’d love volleyball, because I know firsthand that sometimes a sport is not really a sport at all.

Sometimes it’s the doorway to your whole grown-up life.

~Lydia

P.S. — Thanks to everyone who reached out after my last email. Your support made me feel even better about the decision to set it down. Thank you. 🧡

This month's newsletter includes:

• 2026 summer/fall availability update
• Where to take prom pics (with some hidden gems!)
• Books recos 📘
• My ambitious goal for 2026 🇪🇸
• The Quick Take: A personal finance tool I'm in love with 🤑, ball polishing, and binge-worthy TV.

Where to take prom pictures

I include the greatest hits here, but you should peek at my full list of 13 Places to Take Prom Pics in Iowa City.

The popular choices (all on UIOWA campus)

Voxman Music Building — Indoors. Great if it's rainy or cold, but busy... there's usually a line.

Art Building West — Outdoors. I made a quick video to show you where to take pics and the spot to avoid if you want good pics!

Old Capitol and Pentacrest — Outdoors. In spring you'll be dodging graduation pics and champagne sprays, but there's great shade on the east side and close to sunset, nice views on the west.

Visual Arts Building — Outdoors or in. Stick to the southeast corner by the steps, or go inside. Tip: The textured skin on the east side is not great for close-up photos.

Off the beaten path and hidden gems

Stanley Museum of Art — Outdoors. Clean, modern architecture that lets colorful dresses and suits take center stage. Shaded, with plenty of stairs for groups!

Johnson County Courthouse — Shaded on the east, but that's her best side anyway. Has close-by parking, stairs for posing large groups.

RISE at Riverfront Crossings — Clean modern architecture, stairs and ledges for posing groups, nearby parking, and you won't have to fight a crowd.

Hyatt Regency Terrace & Iowa River Wetland Park — Outdoors. Explore the terrace near the hotel (call first; the terrace may be in use for an event) or mosey down the walkway over the wetland.

I went into more detail about where to take photos at these locations in my newest blog post—which includes five more Iowa City prom pic spots if you aren't keen on fighting the crowds. See the 13 places to take prom pics in Iowa City.

Books: 2 great, 1 meh, 2 DNFs 💩

Read with me on Fable, an ad-free Goodreads alternative. You can import your lists and reviews, too.

Unforgettable

⭐️ True Biz by Sara Novic — A fantastic novel set at a residential school for the Deaf. I loved how much I learned about ASL, Deaf culture, and Deaf history while still getting a great story.

⭐️ Dear Edward by Ann Napolitano — A 12-year-old is the sole survivor of a plane crash and has to figure out who he is without his family. Heartbreaking. Bring tissues. Maybe skip it on a plane.

Meh

Famous Last Words by Gillian McAllister — 3.5 stars. Totally fine thriller, but not especially memorable

Didn't finish

Good Dirt by Charmaine Wilkerson. An intriguing premise, but the pottery-murder connection was too much of a stretch for me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Beautiful Ugly by Alice Feeney. Same maddening “ignores every red flag” protagonist trope, just with a man this time. Still too annoying to continue.

📗 An ambitious goal (una meta ambiciosa)

Three days into a weeklong Puerto Rico vacation, I finished the only book I’d brought. Bad planning.

At the bookstore I found, everything was in Spanish (of course). Damn. But I’ve done Duolingo daily for nearly 7 years and minored in Spanish in college, so with a nudge from my husband, I bought a Colleen Hoover book in Spanish.

And I read the whole dang thing! I felt ridiculously proud.

So I’m saying it out loud: my goal this year is to read five books in Spanish.

I’ll have to lower my total book goal because I read like a turtle in Spanish, but I’m going to make it happen. Wish me luck! 🍀